Confessions Of The Serpentine Princess
by huffleclaw22
Summary: The inner thoughts and feelings of Daphne Greengrass. DAPHNE POV/MONOLOGUE. Don't read if you are easily offended (Daphne can be a bit...harsh), or if you're into the popular portrayal of her character. This is for anyone who's sick of the neutral Ice Queen/Harry's girlfriend portrayal of her...this is a more likely to be canon portrayal of her. T for swear words (PG-13 movie-ish).


**A/N: JKR owns all rights to Potterverse, I don't.**

**Daphne Greengrass is a blank slate character, so please no hating on how I portray her because this is how I personally see her character. This will be from her POV.**

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Hey losers, it's me, Daphne Greengrass. I assume you've heard a lot about Slytherin House from those show-off Gryffindors, well take everything you hear with a grain of salt, because they hate us and we hate them back.

For example, you probably heard that Pansy Parkinson (who's my best friend, thank you very much) looks like a pug, that isn't true at all. Just because her nose is a bit squashed looking, doesn't mean that she isn't pretty. I mean after all, she dated Draco Malfoy, I don't think the Prince of Slytherin would've liked her if she wasn't at least somewhat attractive. I think that mudblood Hermione Granger is full of herself, I mean she has no room to talk, after turning herself into Millie's cat in second year. And people actually think she's smart...don't make me laugh.

Oh and Gregory Goyle does NOT look like a troll. I mean he sort of did in first and second year, but by third year he got really good looking. All his awkward bulk turned into muscle and he's really fit now (sometimes we watch him run along the shore by the Black Lake...shirtless!). He's just big and hulking because he acts as one of Malfoy's personal bodyguards, but by no means is he ugly. Actually he has a nice face, when it's not twisted into a menacing scowl as he's beating up a first year, that is. The way his dark brown hair always has that tousled look is super sexy, and his bright amber eyes are always so alert which makes me feel protected when I'm around him. Okay so I might have a teensy crush on him, judge me and I'll hex you into the next millenium. Don't listen to Potter and Weasley, in my opinion, Potter looks like sea lion with glasses and Weasley looks like a walking gingerbread man.

Anyways, I guess I have some confessions for you all, that I'm sure you're just dying to know. I'll also be putting some popular rumors to rest as well. I realize most of you know next to nothing about me as a character, which is a real shame because I'm awesome and you aren't. Well without further ado...

**1) I hate my sister Astoria: **She is the polar opposite of me in every way; I'm blonde, she's brunette. I'm airheaded (or at least I pretend to be to get boys), she's smart. I'm sixteen, she's fourteen. Basically our only similarity is our piercing emerald eyes (the signature Greengrass eyes) and the fact that we're both in Slytherin.

We're too different and we clash nine times out of ten. Not to mention that she's the clear favorite of our parents. Everyone likes her better, and it irks me to my very core. They say that she's the prettier one (I'm pretty hot, but apparently she's "prettier"...whatever the hell that means). They say she's the smarter one (okay I won't lie, she always gets better marks than me...the bitch).

Let me explain better why I can't stand her. Our biggest clash factor is our opposing views on major topics. Like my father, I fully support the Dark Lord's cause, pure-blood for life! Those mudbloods can kiss my sexy ass. But precious little Tori is neutral like our mother, such a sweet girl, she'll get crushed in the real world-especially when the Dark Lord wins this war. And I'll be laughing on the sidelines when the day comes.

She always says "Oh Daph, don't you see? Blood status shouldn't matter...if people could see it, then we could finally live in peace and harmony!" And then once again I find it hard to believe she's actually my sister.

Most of the time I wish she'd just shut up and never talk to me again.

**2) I'd rather be eaten by a dragon than fall in love with Harry Potter: **I mean let's get real here, he'd probably have me in a three-some with him and the Weaslette. Nooo bloody thank you! Besides, he's fighting against the Dark Lord, I'd be disowned by my father if I even spoke to him. Not to mention he's a half-blood, I can't go tainting the Greengrass bloodline that's been in tact since the Medieval Times.

Sure I've heard his Gringotts' vault is filled with loads of gold...but my family is rich enough. Although I will admit, he's definitely interesting. The way he doesn't flaunt his fame in people's faces, and his quiet and mysterious personality, is intriguing. Weaslette's got herself a good catch, but he isn't exactly my cup of tea. Besides, like he'd ever look at a Slytherin, and I'd never look at a Gryffindor.

Come on, it's like people saying Draco Malfoy should date mudblood Granger...like that would actually happen. Ha.

**3) I'm the real Serpentine Princess, not just Pansy's sidekick: **Sure I like to play myself up as the sterotypical "ditzy blonde", but I'm not completely brainless. There's a reason I'm in Slytherin afterall, I'm incredibly cunning. I can also be very ambitious, but not in the way people think.

I don't care about getting high marks on OWLS or NEWTS. What I really want is to rule my social circle. Pansy thinks she's the Princess of Slytherin (because she has a huge crush on Draco), but it's actually me. I use my ditzy persona to rile up all the boys and get them all over me. Especially Goyle (again, judge me and you WILL get hexed I swear).

I guess you could say I'm a bit insecure because of my stupid sister being the "prettier" one. Knowing that I can get any boy I want boosts my self-esteem, which I need badly. If you tell anyone I'll remove your foot and re-attach it to your forehead.

**4) I am a Dark Sorceress: **If you're looking for the light-side neutral one, that would be sweet little Tori. Everyone likes her better anyways. As I've stated before, I support the dark side and the pure-blood mania ideals.

However, I don't want to be a Death Eater. I just like rooting for them on the sidelines. Dark magic and illegal spells don't scare me, and I quite enjoy the darkness of the dungeons and the science of potion brewing.

I'm as stereotypical Slytherin as you can get. Deal with it.

**5) I'm an illegal animagus: **I'm secretly Nagini...ha no I'm kidding. But seriously, if I really want, I can transform into a snake. Think about my last name _Greengrass-_if that makes you picture a snake slithering through the grass, then ding you've got it.

While I'm not a Death Eater, sometimes I spy for them. Shh...don't tell anyone.

**6) I find the Ice Queen idea very intriguing: **Yeah, if you're implying that I'm cold-hearted and only care about getting what I want, then that's an accurate statement. I don't know where people are getting the idea of me being light and neutral from, but you can keep your "Ice Queen" ideas.

I like to think I'm pretty cool... that's right, I can make puns.

Soooooo yeah, that's basically me in a nutshell. Hate me or love me, that's your choice. I'm sorry if I crushed your image of me, if I did, then you'll probably like Astoria better too. Wouldn't be the first time.

Did you know that our parents have already spoken to the Malfoys about a possible courting arrangement in the future? I'm the older one, they should be talking about me, but Astoria is more desirable in their eyes. Not that I want Draco or anything, he's horribly conceited (I don't date people who are as conceited as I am...and I have to be conceited to protect my self esteem), but sometimes it feels like they don't think I'll find love.

I guess Astoria has that natural beauty, the kind that makes her sparkle and shine inside and out. She doesn't need make-up or skimpy clothes to get people to like her. I've always been jealous of her for that.

I'm the "sexy" one. The one that all the guys want to get with, but not stay in a permanent relationship with. I think it's because they can see what a bitter person I really am inside, but it's not my fault that I'm the lesser-liked sister with low self esteem. Since I was two years old I'd been fighting for my parents' favor, even though Astoria is neutral and I'm dark, Daddy still likes her the best.

So basically the roots of my conceited "Ice Queen" persona, come from my lack of self-esteem caused by living in the shadow of my little sister. It should be the other way around, how many older sisters do you know that live in the shadow of their younger sisters? Probably none.

Don't believe everything you hear; my ditzy and bubbly personality is just a mask.

I am the Ice Queen. I support the dark side. I am full of hate.

Gregory Goyle, mend my broken soul.

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**A/N: Okay go ahead and flame me because I just bashed the popular image of Daphne Greengrass. I bet a ton of you want to, I don't mind. But this is how I see her...I mean there had to be some reason she didn't end up with Draco (obviously as the elder sister, she'd be first in line, so why did he pick Astoria?). Daphne is a blank slate, so we as authors can portray her however we want, and I like everyone else am entitled to my views.**

**On the other hand...is anyone else convinced? or pictures her the same way as me? I really want to know if I'm the only one who sees her like this, or if there's anyone else out there who agrees with me.**

**I sincerely hope you enjoyed this, and if you didn't...I apologize for wasting your time/making you angry.**

**:)**


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